Funny Jokes , tell me a joke

Funny Jokes  “Doggy Style, Cat Style”

Doggy style
She said: “Let’s do it doggy style.”
I said: “Woof, woof.”
She: “No, you idiot — I mean turn me around!”

Cat style
Her: “Do me like a cat.”
Him: scratches her back, bites her neck, then disappears for three days.

Rabbit style 🐇
She: “Be my bunny tonight.”
He: “Cute and fluffy?”
She: “No, quick and nonstop.”
He: “Careful what you wish for… rabbits hump like 50 times, but each round is about 5 seconds.”

Lion style
He whispered: “Tonight I’ll be a lion.”
She asked: “Strong and wild?”
He said: “No… I’ll do it once, then sleep for 20 hours.”

Panda style 🐼
She: “Do me like a panda.”
He: “Aw, cute and cuddly?”
She: “Yes.”
He: “Well then, once a year… if I feel like it.”

Horse Style 🐎
She: “Babe, I want you to do me like a horse.”
He slaps her ass once.
She: “No, not that! I meant go hard and long!”
He: “Sorry baby… if I really do it horse-style, we’ll be done in under a minute.”

Funny Jokes “Free Sex, Sex is Zero”

A man tells his girlfriend:
“Babe, tonight let’s try something new — you be the teacher, I’ll be the student.”
She smiles: “Okay, take off your pants.”
He does.
She laughs: “Hmm… looks like you’re going to need a LOT of extra classes.”

Sex Condom
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?
One is a Goodyear… the other is a great year.

Teacher roleplay
She says: “Take out your pencil.”
He pulls it out.
She laughs: “Oh honey… that’s not even long enough for multiple choice.”

Cop roleplay
She says: “You’re under arrest.”
He asks: “For what?”
She: “Possession of a small weapon.”

Boss/Employee roleplay
Boss: “You’re late again.”
Employee: “Sorry, traffic was terrible.”
Boss: “Good… now get under my desk and make up for lost time.”

Teacher Student Sex Roleplay
“Let’s roleplay — I’ll be the strict teacher, you’ll be the naughty student.”
He says: “Okay, what happens if I fail the exam?”
She smirks: “Then you’ll have to do oral… presentations.”

Funny Jokes  Sex is like math:

Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs… and hope you don’t multiply.

Funny Jokes “Great Lover Sex Pill”

A man calls his doctor and says, “Doctor, my wife says I’m a terrible lover. I need a pill!”

The doctor replies, “Sir, they haven’t invented a pill to make you a great lover yet. But I can give you one to make you think you are.”

The man says, “Great! I’ll take ten!”

Funny Jokes “Roleplay Sex Husband and Wife”

A couple is in bed. The wife whispers:
“Babe, let’s try roleplay… you be the doctor.”
The husband smiles:
“Okay… so, it looks like you’ll need to come back next week. And don’t forget to pay the consultation fee.”

Funny Jokes “Sex Husband and Wife”

A married couple is in bed. The wife rolls over and whispers to her husband, “Honey, I’m feeling really frisky. Let’s try something wild!”

The husband, half-asleep, grumbles, “Just be quiet and get your own hot dog from the fridge.”

Funny Jokes “about Time”

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he has any luggage.

He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

I heard the food was good but it had no atmosphere.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.